My 14th Wedding Anniversary

…was last week. It got lost among the other stuff in our lives, especially since it fell on Yom Kippur. My wife remembered about an hour into holiday services. Being the Day of Atonement, which requires fasting and praying, celebration was not in the cards for that day. The next day I woke up early for work and my wife left for Italy. The celebration will have to wait.

Just because it got lost does not mean that it should not be properly remembered.

A few facts:

We were both in our thirties when we got married. My age now begins with a 5.

This is the longest either of us has been married (my first, her second)

I have now been married longer than I lived on my own as a single–this thought just struck me a couple of weeks ago. I was single for a looong time.

Our son was her son when we married. He was not yet 4 then and now he leaves us for college next year.


A few thoughts:

 It has not always been easy, at times incredibly hard for each of us, but it has been well worth it. It takes time to find a workable life rhythm and a lifetime to perfect one.

It is getting easier. I am less often expected to read her mind and I learn better to share mine (though she proclaims to all that she learns more about me from reading this blog than from what I tell her. Not altogether false)

My wife sparks stronger passion from me than anyone I have ever known, mostly the good kind, sometimes the loud, yelling kind, but never no feeling at all

We have some growing yet to do as a couple but we have the next 20+ years to work on it

Lastly, but not as an afterthought, I love my wife.

Happy anniversary, Honey.


My Funny Valentine

A belated valentine for the woman who is and will always be my Valentine.

Once again I am late. No cards, flowers or other expression of my love showed up on February 14. This is totally a reflection of me, not her or even my feelings for her. After 14 years together, 13 as husband and wife, I still let my anomosity for these types of “holidays” get in the way. If I am to be the loving spouse I like to think of myself as, then I must recognize and act on what is important to her. She appreciates recognition of my love on Valentine’s day, and other relevant holidays.

Enough with the prologue.

Dear honey love of my life. Our relationship is intense. It may not seem that way as I lay asleep on the couch snoring away but it is. Happy, sad, agreeing, disagreeing and loving. All intense. Sometimes the intensity of the “less than good” clouds the overall picture. Let the winds of my love blow away the clouds. (OK I know that was a little corny but poetic verse is not my strong suit.)

My view of the world expects that there will be ups and downs. Therefore in my world having less than good moments never means that I do not love you. I do.  I can be happy gazing at your face for hours. I know that you thought it was weird as we dated that I stared at you. It was, I am, but I cannot help it around you. In that way I feel the same as I did when we met.

Let’s not forget that despite the fact that we do not “get” each others’ humor we still laugh together. Let’s not forget that we do many things for each other though they often go by without enough recognition. Let’s not forget all the things we have overcome. Let’s try to forget the old hurts and instead remember the beautiful ones and to make as many more as we can. 

I am glad that you reminded me that I once had more of a romantic streak. How early on in our life together you were in Italy over Valentines Day and I sent many cards to you there to make sure that you knew that I loved you. I still do. I need to show it more.

Why say these things on  my blog I know you ask. Why in some respects is it easier to share my feelings here than to you directly? I don’t know the answer to that but I do know that I want all the world to be able to know how I feel about you.

Since I do not sing well I will let another sing to you a Valentin’s song. Just pretend that the talented African American woman below is me.

Word History: Lovers and the greeting card industry may have Geoffrey Chaucer to thank for the holiday that warms the coldest month. Although reference books abound with mentions of Roman festivals from which Valentine’s Day may derive, Jack B. Oruch has shown that no evidence supports these connections and that Chaucer was probably the first to link the saint’s day with the custom of choosing sweethearts. No such link has been found before the writings of Chaucer and several literary contemporaries who also mention it, but after them the association becomes widespread. It seems likely that Chaucer, the most imaginative of the group, invented it. The fullest and perhaps earliest description of the Valentine’s Day tradition occurs in Chaucer’s Parlement of Foules, composed around 1380, which takes place “on Seynt Valentynes day,/Whan every foul cometh there to chese [choose] his make [mate].” Copied from