October 26, 2011 Leave a comment
Do you have a circle of people you trust?
Last Saturday my 8-year-old VW visited the dealership to have them fix a recall problem. ( The specifics of the recall are not relevant to the story but know that my fear of spontaneous combustion in the car has fallen dramatically.) After awhile the dealer guy who checked me in stopped by to let me know that they found two additional things to repair. $30 for replacing rear brake lights and $700 for repairing something called CV boots. I had them replace the bulbs even though I suspected that if they charged $30 it could be done for $10 but why risk a rear end collision over 20 bucks. The dealer guy was stunned that I would not get the other repair done and iterated how serious of a problem this was. I politely declined.
The mechanic I now use, and trust, looked the car over on Tuesday and said that yes, one but not both CV boots needed repair and it would cost $250. $250 vs. $700!!! What does that say about the dealer.
That got me thinking about who I trust and how that trust came to be… and whether people trust me?
My musings quickly went beyond people who provide a service even though this category of people is vast and they can play important roles in our physical and financial well-being. I refer to doctors, contractors, financial investors, care givers, teachers, counselors, etc. While not dismissing their importance, I view the road to trust as fairly straightforward with this this group. In the old days you would get a referral from someone you know. Now the internet provides dozens of forums for sharing our thoughts and experiences with service providers. Finding something on a website even carries more weight. If it is in “print” it must be true. We assume trust and then only when the evidence proves otherwise do we loose faith and start the process over.
So who do I trust and why?
I trust my friends, my close friends. As I think about it I am having trouble distinguishing between trust and true friendship. I truly believe that if I really needed something my friends would step up. I am friendly with quite a few people but the number of people I count as close friends is few. With me, there is this deep cavern between someone I know and a friend. But once that cavern has been bridged, I “mate” for life. In fact once a friend, even if you disappoint me now and again I still believe in you.
Some bonds of friendship grew up over years. I accumulated friends at all of the major stages of my life. Yet in some instances the bond came fast. Some shared experience, feeling, moment we both hold dear. All of these people carry me through the tough times and lift me higher during the best of times. I am a better man because of who they are.
I hope people trust me. I know that I have had moments when I have let people down and moments when I stepped up big. I hope the people I think of as friends think of me that way.
This stream of consciousness has taken me from thoughts of general public trust to feelings about people I care for. What a strange journey.