Say It Again Sam

Real things said by real people and too good not to share.

  1. If today was tomorrow we would be good to go.
  2. I am all about Jack The Ripper
  3. I think people who love each other have to have fights sometimes otherwise they don’t understand each other very well
  4. I have a fat man living inside of me
  5. As long as there is a cold one and a TV out there
  6. Puting on latex gloves and sticking your finger up your ass twice a day is not as much fun as it sounds
  7. Hello, I must be going

I wanted you to first read them straight. Here is where they came from.

  1. If today was tomorrow we would be good to go. I love the pseudo-zen sound of this one. It almost makes enormous sense, sort of.  It was spoken by a male flight attendant. There was a two-thirds full regional plane waiting to go from Charlotte to Tri-Cities in TN. (the tri being  Kingsport, Johnson City and Bristol of course). The passengers were wondering why the plane was waiting for people coming from another flight rather than leaving them behind as has become the norm. The FA explained that on Mondays and Tuesdays this was now the last plane to the TriCities for the day. Tomorrow, Wednesday there would be a later flight and this one would have taken off rather than waited. Therefore, …
  2. I am all about Jack The Ripper. A friend and her husband had just spent 5 days in London. In addition to the excitement of seeing Verne Troyer (MiniMe) and damaging their rented Jaguar after driving all the way to Dover and back and being within blocks of their hotel, they did a walking tour of Jack The Ripper sites. When asked why, the response was …
  3. I think people who love each other have to have fights sometimes otherwise they don’t understand each other very well. An 11 year old was being interviewed by her father for a piece that eventually made it to NPR. It was clear from the story that while the father and mother loved each other there were many things that got in the way, finances– or lack there of– being one. I can only imagine an 11-year-old trying to sort things out in her mind. This 11-year-old was very wise. If all couples thought this way then the pain of fights would be less and last not as long.
  4. I have a fat man living inside of me. Click on the link to read the story by the original author. In short, this was spoken by a 16-year-old man-child who had just turned down a second portion of main course for more salad.
  5. As long as there is a cold one and a TV out there. A friend from the west suburbs of Chicago told me that he is traveling to s small town in TN for Thanksgiving. His wife has family in the area. One sibling has a house on many acres in this somewhat remote area.  After he told me how nice it was there I said that I did not see him as such a country boy. His response was…
  6. Puting on latex gloves and sticking your finger up your ass twice a day is not as much fun as it sounds. This one has not actually yet been said out loud. It has been in my head for a couple of months. I have a literal pain in the ass and the choices were surgery or applying an ointment two times a day. I chose the latter and have been waiting for the right time and audience to use the line. Still waiting.
  7. Hello, I must be going. This was not actually said by a real person but by a character played originally by Groucho Marx in the play, and then the movie, Animal Crackers. The Goodman Theatre staged an extremely enjoyable version which we watched a few weeks ago.  The actors playing the roles originated by the Marx brothers were all very good with Joey Slotnick, who played Captain Spalding/Groucho being outstanding. And now, I must be going.
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About 48facets
What you read is what you get.

One Response to Say It Again Sam

  1. Frank Roche says:

    Great laughs, man. Writers like you pay attention…and all the fun stuff just gets said — it doesn’t have to be made up.

    Thanks for the smiles. I hope you guys had a nice Thanksgiving.

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