Parenting: When More Is Not Better

 Today’s Chicago Tribune had an editorial by a psychologist on the state of parenting.  The article is worthy of a quick read and can be found here.  The key points are:

  • the approach of praising everything a child does in the name of self esteem is not only ineffective but takes away opportunities for grow
  • we as parents should not be surprised if our children seem unappreciative or selfish when we shower them with attention and objects that they did little to earn
  • our children learn from watching how we act not what we say. If we overindulge ourselves they learn from this
  • as long as you are a parent of a child it is not too late for change
  • the environment for parenting today is hard, don’t beat yourself up for being less than perfect

As an highly imperfect parent of a teenager I agree with all of these points wholeheartedly.  In trying to shelter my son from hurt and to give him things that he wants I may not have yet equipped him to be successful in the world and to appreciate what he has. Fortunately there is still a little time.

About 48facets
What you read is what you get.

2 Responses to Parenting: When More Is Not Better

  1. Frank says:

    I’m a constant griper about parents and the “Self-Esteem Movement.” Gadzooks, I hated it when parents would make arches over kids when they would win — or lose — soccer games. It never ends. I’m for well-deserved praise…and actions over words. You too, buddy.

  2. 48facets says:

    For me, it was not just whether they made the arch win or lose but that they made it at all. No perspective. What ever happened to quiet one-on-one encouragement of your child? Do we need these “public displays of affectation” for every event in a kid’s life.

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