The Joys of Sex— Much Better Than Air Travel

plane.jpgAwful travel last week due to brutal storms in Chicago but exacerbated by poor airline service. Some lowlights.

Spent 4 hours at O’Hare Wednesday night trying to make St. Louis for an early Thursday meeting. Sitting in the lounge watching sheets of rain come down punctuated by the periodic lightning bolt gave me a good indication that I may not be leaving Chicago that night. However, United still had two planes scheduled to go.

I left the comfort of the lounge to check on my plane. It seemed that every time I checked the monitor the time and gate changed.  After over half an hour, my flight disappeared from the monitor. Not a good sign. Usually however, they post “Cancelled”. Back to the airport lounge where the line to talk to someone was only 6 people long. I had passed the main service area where the line snaked forever. Poor bastards thought I.

My line wasn’t moving so I tried the premier service phone number. Other than confirm that my flight had been cancelled the Premier Service couldn’t do anything for me. I finally got to a person and was told the last plane was still planning to go and there was space. Unfortunately it was 2 concourses away and leaving in 25 minutes. Off I ran. Caught up to another runner going for the same plane. Every time you think you have it bad you meet someone having it worst. This woman had flown in from Zurich– yes Switzerland– and had not slept for a long time. I guided her to the other terminal. Guess what? Flight canceled.

The only flight that would get me to my meeting on time was the first flight out the next day. The terminally uninterested person at the counter could only confirm a flight that would be leaving too late but had me on standby for the one I needed. Headed home to get 4 hours of sleep before doing this again. On the way called United to confirm the standby status. This woman was able to confirm a spot on the flight I wanted but without a seat assignment. Still risky but a step forward.

Last seat on a small plane but on the plane the next day. The bathroom just behind me reeked for the entire flight. Joy.

Made it back to Chicago on the plane scheduled earlier than mine but delayed until mine was going to leave anyway. Those of you bored with this story but still reading for some unknown reason probably think it is mercifully coming to an end. Wrong. I still need to make White Plains, NY that night. 4 hours in the airport, lunch on my lap sitting in one of the few open seats. 2 hours late to NY. Gate changed 3 times with little in the way of announcements from anyone working for United. Met lots of people with flight stories. All were willing to share. Each story worse than the one before. Topped by the teenager who had been in the airport for 19 hours.

Coming back the next day I did catch a break. Got on an earlier flight. I need to describe the White Plains terminal for those that have not been there. Unlike any I have seen and I have seen many. Another time perhaps.

BTW the title has no particular relevance to this story. It just hit me and I thought I might attract a few new readers. Sex sells.

About 48facets
What you read is what you get.

2 Responses to The Joys of Sex— Much Better Than Air Travel

  1. Frank says:

    Brilliant hook, man! Terrible travel, but brilliant hook….you’re using the Hemingway approach…to be an interesting writer, live and interesting life. Really cool. And great writing.

  2. 48facets says:

    You flatterer you. However, mentioning me and Hemingway in the same sentance is not even directionally correct let alone the right order of magnitude.
    That man lived til he died. I read much of his work in my youth. Greatness. Something to aspire to.

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