Get That Flu Shot!

Contemplating getting the shot doesn’t count. Being at a client site on the day they are administering shots to the people you are working with doesn’t count. As proof, just two days before I came down with the seasonal flu I did both.

To put things in time perspective that would have been Thursday October 8. By Saturday my body was telling me that something was wrong. However I attributed the tiredness and the achy feeling to my workout– these have been so infrequent that I just figured it was all due to being out of shape. By Sunday the combination of aches, pains, fever and congestion worse than a Chicago rush hour made me realize that it was the flu. If only I had taken the 45 minutes to go to our company clinic. 45 minutes seemed like such an inconvenience. Or better yet if my company had made flu shots available at my work site more than the two days I was traveling on business. As it turned out the 45 minutes would have been a great investment.

Speaking of business, while clients can be very understanding of your illness on a personal level (rest, go to the doctor, take care of yourself were consistent comments) that does not mean that their work product can be late! So Monday with fever raging I was working at home trying to delay what I could and think well enough to deliver on all that remained.

Then to add to my personal pain, literally, I coughed. This was one of those violent, retching body shaking, come out of nowhere coughs. You could hear the sound of the tendon in my lower back rip. It ripped even more when I coughed again 2 minutes later. I now had screaming level, constant pain in my lower back. It hurt to sit. It hurt to stand. It hurt to breath.

By this time I had time for one, and only one doctor appointment. I had to choose. internal medicine for the flu or orthopedic for the back. No contest. I  made an afternoon appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. Fortunately no disk damage. I left with prescriptions for steroids, muscle relaxers and narcotics. If  I were to take the latter two there would be no driving or even thinking straight. I skipped the narcs so I could work and because I have an aversion to excess drugs.

By the next day the fever broke and the constant pain left. However for the remainder of the week I had bad cold symptoms, could not stand up straight or walk stairs without pain and was exhausted all of the time.

Next year I take the flu shot and as soon as it is available I am doing the H1N1 vaccine. The pain/time trade-off makes it worth while.

I’m Losing It

Actually for about 20 minutes it was completely lost.

First my eyesight, my hearing and my memory. Now I’m losing my mind.

After a brutal work week I slept for a couple of hours this afternoon. Then I needed to rally. Too many things to do that cannot wait. Officemax to pick up some last items for D before he takes off for college. Then to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I am about to get into the checkout aisle and I reach for my wallet. Not there. “What do you mean its not there” the left side of my brain screams to the right. Have you checked every pocket. Of course I have, twice. Where the hell can $200 in cash, all my credit cards my license and every piece of I.D. known to man wrapped up in an overstuffed brown leather package be?

I run to the car. Maybe I absentmindedly put it in one of the OfficeMax bags. No, damn it. I race across the strip mall to the Max. “Anyone leave a wallet?” I frantically ask the 16 year old cashier with the bad highlights in her hair. No.

I race back to the car to look again. Then back to the grocery store. Did I drop it in the cart which I had now abandoned for 15 minutes. Not there. on to the service counter. Anyone bring in a brown wallet. I must have looked like a total crazy person because the woman behind the counter could not pull all of the stuff out of the lost and found drawer fast enough. Still nothing.

A few memory cells kick in. I DID HAVE IT IN THIS STORE. I had pulled a shopping list from it. I was at the Pepsi display. Quick to aisle 10. Damn it, damn it. Not near the Pepsi. I race to the few other areas of the store I had been. At this point I have passed into that region beyond panic. Visions of some schmo buying expensive things with my credit cards and cash flashed before my eyes. It was the weekend and I was going to have to cancel my credit cards and we are to take my son to school in two days. ARRRRRRHHHH.

One last look in the Pepsi aisle. Wait, what is that on the four foot high stack of cartons? My wallet of course. Laying open for all to see. Maybe you had to be looking for it. Everything was there. Well almost everything. The money, credit cards, driver’s licence, etc were there but the shopping list was gone.

So you decide. I am I some unfortunate schlemiel or the luckiest guy in the world? All I know is that I am glad I found my wallet and my mind tonight. I hope neither disappears again too soon.

Spring Blues

March 29 ???

What is it with Chicago weather? Spring officially arrived a week ago. And yet…

First on Saturday I sat for 2 1/2 hours in 30 degree weather watching my son’s home baseball opener. It took all 5 layers of clothing to keep me warm through seven innings. Too bad the game went eight.

Then we wake up Sunday to this.

Technology Workaround

My wife has been home with the flu and it has taken her voice. She had something important for me to know while I was at work so she sends an email. No big deal. Then I get a text asking why I did not reply to her email. Text back, “because it did not show up.

She does it again. Another text. Same reply. She tries my GMail account. still nothing. By now she is not just sick but fuming. I send an email to her hoping that she can just reply to it. Nope.

She is not in the mood and I do not have the time to walk her through various potential fixes. I call. Does the Internet connection work. Yes, she says in that small flu-voice.

OK. Here is what we will do. Go to 48facets and put the email in the form of a comment. Works. Respond. Rerespond. Communication happens. Problem solved.

Later on I am home and I get a text. Not a usual occurrence. It is my wife. She is upstairs. I think in the prehistoric times of my youth we used to use a bell. I kinda like old technology.

Auspicious Beginning

Heading for an island in the Caribbean. Slowly, very slowly.

Got to the airport 2 and a half hours before the flight as requested by the United in order to get things moving on time. Spent some time in the airport lounge and then headed for the gate.

The plane boarded on time. We found our seats and settled in for the remaining 40 minutes until flight time…or so United said.

So how did I spent the next 2 hours? Sitting in the same seat. With the plane still at the same gate. Just sitting. If you want to get the general feeling of what we were going through find a hard chair, place it about 3 inches from a wall. Sit down. Count to 1,000.Repeat. OK that is enough to get the gist.

Once again United discovers new and novel ways to delay a flight. The pilot announces that he is a replacement pilot. Since he is going out of the country and flying back the next day he had hoped for a room to sleep in. United had been working on it for 5 hours to this point. The plane was going nowhere until the pilot has a room. Over an hour goes by after this announcement. We are still sitting. The pilot comes on a few times with updates mainly saying that the United is working on it, that it is hard to get a “cheap” room during high season and that he is sorry. So are we.

Lots of kids on this flight. The natives begin to get restless. More time goes by.

Finally a room for the pilots. At last we can leave. Right. Uh, not yet. It seems as if 3 pieces of luggage still needed to be loaded onto the plane. Another 30 minutes.  Pilot comes on. Learns that it was really 60 pieces of luggage. But now we are ready to go.

Well, not quite right. The jetway is stuck. Not to worry, mechanics from the City of Chicago—which instead of the airlines operates select jetways including B18— are on the way The jetway gets repaired and pulls back from the plane.

AWAY WE GO.  Right into a line of 15 planes.

Stay tuned. I am sure the rest of the week will be much better. I don’t have to fly again until next Saturday.

I’m Dreaming Of A White…Sand Beach

A white Christmas is guaranteed here in Chicago. Plenty of snow covers the ground. If the temps stay in the 20s like today I won’t mind it too much but Winter has hit with a vengeance here in the Midwest.

Over the last week, starting Tuesday December 16, still officially autumn, we have had 3 major snowstorms and most days the temps have been single digits–some with a minus sign. The first snow came during rush hour and my 45 minute commute took over 3 hours followed immediately by an hour of shoveling snow.

The second storm was accompanied by high winds and single digit temperatures. The storm last night also hit at rush hour but apparently I was one of the few idiots still working. The driving was challenging, where was my dog team and sled when I needed it, but with few cars on the road the commute only took an hour and a half.

It is only December with months of winter to go. Yes I am ready to get away to warm weather and sandy beaches. Something like this.

In the meantime I will settle in my warm house, light Hanukkah candles, and sing Hanukkah and Christmas songs. Here is one of my favorite Christmas ballads.

(BTW. Der Bingle first sang the song White Christmas — written by Irving Berlin, a good Jewish boy– in the movie Holiday Inn not in the copycat movie White Christmas. A common misconception. One story claims Berlin wrote the song in early 1940 while sitting poolside at the Arizona Biltmore Resort and Spa in Phoenix, Arizona. Another says he was in his home in upstate NY. I like the former story better.)

A Little Debbie’s Day

Every have one of those days filled with little annoyances? At some point all you want to do is bury yourself in comfort food. Sunday was one of those days for me.

My kid had one of those rude, dad- you – are -so-stupid tones from the moment he woke up, at noon.

Flat tire.

Too many stores and too many slow lines. One woman kept the line waiting as she agonizingly slowly counted out her change to pay a small grocery bill.

At another store we all waited and waited in the express lane–I had one item–while the 16 year old cashier kept calling for someone 21 or older to come and ring up a bottle of wine.

Traffic was slow.

It was 20 degrees out.

One of those days.

I entered my last store cold, tired and hungry. Trepidation filled my every fiber as I entered another florescent lit layer of hell.

Then rising like a magnificent mountain of all that is good, directly ahead of me  it stood. A huge display of assorted Little Debbie cakes and cookies. It was all I could do to summon the self-control to not fill my cart with boxes of Oatmeal Creme pies and Fudge Rounds. An image jumped into my mind of me on my couch, warm,  consuming a box of each and letting the sugar induced coma take me to a better place.

I was able to just buy what I needed and go home. But the dream lives on.

Iowa

I am spending the night in a Mt. Vernon. Not bad you say. Just outside of D.C. The home of the first President. No, the other Mt. Vernon.

Mt. Vernon, Iowa. Home of the other Cornell, Cornell College.

One more small liberal arts college on the tour of Midwest schools.  About 1200 students. 4000 people in the town. Three stoplights–all on the same street and about 3 blocks between lights.

Sure the town is quaint. The kind of place worth spending a couple of hours exploring on the way to somewhere else. But to stay overnight??? At least I will have some quality time with my son you say. Sure. Except that he slept 80% of the trip here and is staying with a student in the dorm tonight, We were together for about 90 minutes today. I have been at the Sleep Inn by myself since 4:30.

My wife wouldn’t come with. Too much to do. I wish I could say that. I have nothing to do. Nada. Less than Nada. Small, small town. When the locals talk about Cedar Rapids and Iowa City as the big towns nearby, you know you are in small town Iowa.

Oh, by the way, never go to the fast food Chinese place in a small town for dinner. Especially if the woman at the counter is Hispanic and the also have burritos on the menu. The food may be cheap but in this case you will likely get what you pay for.

The school actually seems fine. It has a unique approach to education. Students take 1 class at a time for 18 days. You can walk from one end of the campus to the other in less than 15 minutes. Most buildings are historical landmarks.  

Hopefully my son is having a good time. I will find out tomorrow.

Don’t Waste My Time!

But he did.

We attended a seminar at the local community college that promised to help us understand the mysteries of funding college education. The great secrets of where to find grants, loans and scholarships were ours for the investment of time. A good investment we figure. College costs at the schools we visited will be $40,000+ per year.

Within 5 minutes I knew I was in an extended sales pitch and not a seminar. i started playing games on my Blackberry until my wife gave me “the look”. On and on he went. I now know that there are a million ways to screw up applying for loans and scholarships. I could have guessed that. After 75 minutes he shared only one way to make it through the haze. Hire him.

He had such unmitigated gall as to have an evaluation form. And we got a certificate for a free evaluation–typically a $250 value. Wow!

I could have been working, exercising, sleeping or being mugged. Any of these activities would have been of greater value.

On the way out his “people” wanted to know if we wanted to schedule our free evaluation. Please, don’t waste any more of my time. I already need to figure out how to recapture 75 minutes.

At Some Point You Have To Laugh

That was said by the young woman standing in line behind me. Our flight to Charlotte should have left 2 hours earlier. Instead we had been in a slow moving line back out past TSA security waiting to find out if there were some way out of hell.

I am sure you are in no mood to hear another on of my travel horror story but as long as I have them I am giving you the opportunity to relive them with me. Another new reason to delay a flight.

After 14 hours in the office on Monday and a hectic Tuesday morning of emergency emails and calls I left for O’Hare. As it was I dreading the 5 hour two plane trio to Kingsport, TN. The only good news was that at the end of the travels I was to have dinner with one of my favorite clients. If only it had happened as planned.

Instead 15 minutes before the 12:30 US Air flight to Charlotte they announced a maintenance delay. 45 minutes later they announced that the part they needed, it took that long to figure out which part it was, they did not keep in Chicago. The part would need to be flown in. If it came, the plane might leave at 7 pm. The announcement directed us to go to the ticket counter on the dreaded other side of security.

This is one time where being a frequent flier screwed me. I assumed that technology could help get me on one of the three remaining US Air flights to Charlotte or one of the two United flights. Why not, I have high level status on United.

I worked that phone. US Air, United, Us Air again. Different answers each time. Mostly though it seemed as though every flight that day to Charlotte was full. After an hour I realized that I had no choice but to go to the ticket counter. More confusion. There were several lines and no one directing traffic. I stood in the wrong line until I reached the front in time to be told that the person behind that counter could not help me. Into the other line which had to be 50 people deep. Three people behind the counter. No good answers to be had.

If there is a deity with a master plan manipulating world events to the level of my plane travel I have discovered his/her master plan. The purpose of these moments is to provide an environment in which people who would never get the opportunity to converse mingle. People of all races, creeds, colors, and walks of life spontaneously begin sharing stories. They find things they have in common. Mostly what they have in common is their hatred of air travel and whatever airline is causing the day’s frustrations. Sometimes more. The older lady and her even older mother in front of me were on their way home to the city I was visiting. We chatted abut how crowded it got during race week (there is a NASCAR track nearby) and what a nice town it is. As a group we provide each other with solace and understanding.

Well, once it was my turn I was told there were no seats to Charlotte that day. I could have tried leaving the next day but any delay and I would have missed my business meeting. At least person behind the counter was competent. She found a United nonstop to Knoxville that would put me 110 miles away. I took it. I figured I would rent a car and at least be there that night.

On to the United terminal. Finally, a bit of luck, there were only 4 people ahead of me in the security line. But not so fast. I was not given a ticket but a receipt for a ticket the TSA guy informed me. On to another long line to haggle with another ticket agent. Back to security again where the line was now 40 people deep. As I reached my gate my admin called. No rental cars from any company in Knoxville. Hitchhiking was not an appealing option. Fortunately my client agreed to come get me.

For hours later, 11 hours after I left my house I was in my hotel room.  

As I have said before, as long as the plane did not fall out of the sky I can deal with it. Sort of.