I Forgot to Have Fun

Actually, I think I have forgotten how to have fun. I work alot as many people do. I also know people who still manage to do things. I don’t do things. Way, way too many hours lounging in front of the TV. I love TIVO but really, I do not need more choices.  I work out once a week, rent movies, go out to the occasional movie and see 10 plays a year–series subscriptions. Rarely just gather with friends. Don’t particularly like parties. Too tired to go listen to music.

My wife and son have no problems finding ways, and having the time and energy, to have fun. Why am I different? This is no way to spend a life. It is Saturday night and I am home alone.

Since you need to know where you are going if you want to get there, I will start with a list of the things that I like to do or think that I would like to try.  Look for this in the not too distant future. What are your top five?

Fun. What a concept. Got to get me some of that.

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13 Responses to I Forgot to Have Fun

  1. Frank Roche says:

    Go seek your bliss, buddy. That doesn’t always mean doing spectacular things. Riding in the woods works. Getting out, smiling, writing…it’s all good.

  2. JT says:

    Nice question –

    My five are:

    Hugging and kissing my two kids.
    Thinking a brand new thought that I never had before and maybe that nobody did before (rarity).
    Turning a phrase.
    Hearing or telling a really funny story.
    Rollercoasters (usually followed by #1)

  3. 48facets says:

    JT, a great five. I used to love hugging my son but as a teen that is no longer allowed. Rollercoasters have terrified me for years. The others may make my list.

    Frank, I agree that fun does not have to be large things but it can be. Bliss is the key and a beautiful word.

  4. Gina says:

    I too think something is wrong with me. I think I dont have the capacity to enjoy. Everything in my life is perfect…but Im perfectly miserable…I cant think of one thing that would make me happy…although I do realize my life could get worse and I should love and appreciate it but somehow…Im unable to get to that place. I hate everything…I hate everyone…I have no friends…I have no hobbies…I look at myself in the mirror and wish I had the guts to OD on sleeping pills.

    • Jon says:

      OD-ing on sleeping pills is not a great idea…let’s just say, i’ve been there and the problem (besides the obvious things) is if you survive, you’ll feel like sh** for several days afterwards and won’t really be able to “participate” in life…i must admit it is frustrating though…

  5. Chuck says:

    Gina I am in the same place as you. I found this through google looking to address it. I don’t know what to do. The things I used to enjoy now just leave me empty feeling, and I feel trapped in this empty empty existence. I have achieved alot, and thought the path to achievement would bring me happiness. No such luck. I too wish I had the guts to end it, but too many depend on me and I would let them down. I try to reach out to get help from loved ones but they are sick of hearing the same thing from me.

  6. Dianne says:

    So did you ever find happiness? I’m in much the same boat as Gina. The hobbies I have had are gone, and I just don’t know how to get back some enjoyment out of life.

  7. Jon says:

    I have to agree with several of you…Gina and Chuck I totally agree, you’re not alone in this thought process and I’m not even at the point of having kids or marriage or anything like that, have no desire for those things anymore…life just feels boring now…its amazing to watch kids and how they’ll have so much fun from the smallest things…reminiscing those days myself…i think adults just forget how to have fun and therefore, look to alcohol and other unhealthy options to fill that void…what i found helpful was to keep a list on my phone of activities to do when bored or wanting to plan something (besides dinner and movie)…by keeping the list on a phone, u can constantly update it when an idea comes to mind…my list is up 2 about 50+ different activities at this point, some cost $, some don’t…if anyone is interested in obtaining this list, feel free to email me (i’d type it all out here but if no one is going to read it, what’s the point) at jon_d_wilkinson@hotmail.com and i’ll be happy to respond with the list.

  8. Jon says:

    ps. put “requesting activities list” or something in the subject line because I have a junk filter on hotmail

  9. joey zaza says:

    Smoke a couple of blunts amigo!

  10. lala says:

    I have forgotten how to have fun – me too,
    Not that I am unhappy, it just seems that I sometimes get busy in my mind and forget to just be where I am, and enjooy that moment for what it is. I like the list idea – that helps – picking something that helps make life interesting again – even something like going for a walk in part of town you have never been to. The point is it gives you a new experience which is good, as it can help you see a part of yourself you have yet to discover. Noticing all the good things you do have in your life, being grateful for those can help too.It is too easy in this culture in which we live to see the stuff we want, the stuff we don’t have, and run in that circle – I’ll be happy once I have ……. better to be happy with where you are. And if you really are not, then it could be a sign to make a change towards what would make you happy -either change the attitude or make a change in life… not perfect but happier knowing ways to get happy -

  11. Josh says:

    http://www.lifepositive.com/mind/personal-growth/personal-growth/forum-article.asp

    I’m a dry alcoholic(Sober with no recovery program) and life lately has just been bleh. I want so badly to be able to enjoy things and LIVE, but I don’t even know where to start. I’m so analytical that I think myself into submission in just about every aspect of my life. I think I just think too much instead of just enjoying things which made me think of a course I took when I was younger, which is why I posted this link, hope some of you get something out of it. I guess my biggest problem is forming real relationships with people and making friends. I am close with my family so I have people that care about me and I know how to act amicable, but it’s all a facade, it’s becoming hard to feel any real connection with other people. I’m so worried all the time about what the right thing to do is that I just lock up. There are so many things that I could do it’s overwhelming and I don’t know which decision is right or what path I should follow, whether it be what job to take or who to date or whatever. I can’t seem to make any real connections with people…it’s scary.

    • Jahz says:

      This is EXACTLY how I feel. I’m in my late 30’s and avoid visiting family because I really don’t have anything to say or share. I feel so disconnected, depressed and empty. I have a great job, live in an amazing space, no stress or drama but my life feels dead. I used to be so vibrant, full of life and would take risks like skydiving, scuba diving and yet, I’ve lost all desire to do anything. Josh, just like you, I won’t date or go out with anyone.

      Has anyone talked to their doctors about seeking professional help? If so, has it helped? I’m willing to try anything at this point because I hate sitting by and wasting my life away – especially knowing there’s someone out there who can help me work through it.

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